Buon Anno!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

or as my fellow Italian peeps say

BUON ANNO!

I hope you all had a lovely time bringing in the new year and enjoyed a nice smooch at midnight. Tyler and I on the other hand were in 2-day old jammies, sick watching Lost on the couch. Beforehand we had looked up a few Italian NYE traditions and read that people throw unwanted clothes and furniture out their windows to make way for new things in the new year... I was most excited about this tradition and was all ready to call a U-Haul. We also read that fireworks were used to scare off evil spirits, which I absolutely love... both the fireworks and the no spooks parts. Needless to say, we had all intentions of celebrating big, going to Venice again, yadda yadda... but snot just ruins everything sometimes. I did wear red undies though which is supposed to bring good luck to the new year. Meh. You do whatcha can, ya know? If you're absolutely dying for some NYE in Venice pics, check out my fellow Aviano milspouse's blog JLW!

This is actually a picture of us last year bringing in 2011... on my mom's couch in our Snugs. This year wasn't so different, except Ty has no facial hair, we were sick, on our own couch, and in Italia.

My favorite holiday bounces around from month to month, but I have to say New Years is (usually) my all time favorite. I LOVE the feeling of a blank slate, starting over, being who you can be, all that inspirational stuff you see on posters in English teachers' classrooms. I believe it all, too... it's just that these past 6 months I have completely drained myself of positive energy for the most part and it's honestly super sad. I kept thinking that I needed to make a resolution but I honestly didn't have the motivation to... I didn't have the motivation to better myself or dig myself out of this rut. To be honest, I'm still not sure that I do. But I know that I have to. In the past few months (especially in the past few weeks) I've had multiple conversations with women I admire about life, marriage, love, and everything in between. I've heard things such as "Every woman feels unappreciated. It's just how life goes." and "You just need to survive." on more than one occasion. I couldn't disagree more. I wasn't just 'surviving' before leaving my career and getting married - why would I settle for such a life now? I love being married and I love Tyler so much... it's just that those two things (and Sandy, let's not forget) are really all I have here in Italy. And while I appreciate that part of my life, I cannot have my marriage be the only 'thing' I 'have.' Some may disagree with this. Some may be perfectly happy being a wife, or a mom, or a mom wife, or what have you. I think those people are awesome... but I am not one of them. I need something for me, something that makes me FEEL like me, something that gives me worth and value, something to wake up for in the morning... I pray that 2012 brings me that purpose and zest for life again.

All of that being said, inspired by my best friend's Bucket List, I decided to jot down a few things I want to accomplish in the new year. I'd like to come back to this post throughout the year to let you all know my progress as well as keep myself in check. What are some of your resolutions? C'mon, we all have em!

Conquering 2012

1. Organize our finances. Sure, I didn't contribute this year (except for the month of employment, HA!) - but does not contributing mean I should have no idea of what's going on in our bank account? About a month after we got married Tyler had already left for Italy and I was with Amy in some dive bar asking the bartender what he thought people fought most about in a marriage. He didn't take but two seconds to answer me with one word: "Money." I literally laughed and thought how very trivial that was. Well, now I get it. Not because that 'money' has been an issue (Thank You, God!) but because control - having it and losing it - has been something Tyler and I have both had to deal with during this first year of marriage. Before we got married I had an excel sheet and knew where my money was going. I deducted my monthly bills from my paychecks and knew how much I had to work with for essentials like Moe's and boxed wine. I assure you that while the essentials have changed, my way of organization has not. Tonight (January 3rd - just three days in!) I created an excel, sent it to Tyler with a smiley face, and let him know what we were going to do when he got home. WINK. I elaborate on MyMilitaryLife, check it out!

2. Continue blogging. Maybe even go to a conference. This blog has been so therapeutic to me, I can't even tell you. As much as I appreciate you avid readers (and LOVE comments!), I would write in this blog just for myself. It's been so nice to look back on a year and see how far you've come or in my case how far I need to go... for some it all begins with a step, for me it all begins with a post. BTW, I totally forgot to celebrate my blog's birthday! On December 6, 2011 Ciao, Blogga turned 1 year old!

3. Get involved. Yeah... funny, ha ha, right? Y'all know I've tried. I've TRIED! Tried and failed, tried and failed, tried and screamed, tried and bawled, tried and failed again. But I need to keep trying. My niche is here... somewhere... and every night I pray to God that my purpose of being at Aviano is revealed to me SOON. PLEASE. AHH. I need people around me... inspiring, thought provoking, hilarious, spontaneous people... I won't find that playing Sims or tweeting curse words. So... next week our Spouse Group is having a Member's Meeting... first one of the new year. There are different officers this time around so we'll see if maybe there are more people who come or maybe people who I connect to more easily. If not, next month there is a Bunco Night that I've already accepted the invite to as well. I've never played a day in my life but hey, I'll bring wine and I'll have fun regardless.

4. Get a GD job. I'm not to the point that I want to bag groceries just yet... but give me another few months of unemployment and I just might do it for the socialization aspect. I applied tonight to work with UMUC and I'm thrilled about it. I'm probably putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on myself to get this job but I promise before I send "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HIRE ME" flowers to their headquarters in Germany, I'll come to you all first.

5. Order glasses. This may seem silly but really the theme is this: take care of myself. Not just in the typical lose weight way, but in the way of I should really probably floss more, take my dog for a run, and use more spray tan and get a mani kind of way. (Yes. Spray tan. Problem? Didn't think so. Move along.) But legit, I need to order glasses... The base optometrist won't see me because I'm not military and I haven't heard a good thing about off base medical attention ever. Thankfully I remembered the awesome Surviving Aviano blog that suggested Zenni Optical ($7 glasses, people!) and have been checking out frames all afternoon. As well, I need to invest more of myself spiritually. Whether that is finding a group of friends or a person or a great book or a YouTube channel or WHAT, I've felt very under stimulated spiritually this past year and I only have myself to blame for not looking harder. (Ordered 1-13-12)

6. Attempt P90X. (Going along with #5) It's been just sitting here on Tyler's computer for over a year now with never once having the play button pushed. I've heard amazing things about this exercise routine and to be honest I'm scared out of my mind because it looks intense. But hey, I'll be in the comfort of my own home and when Sandy judges me she leaves the room, so it's okay. (Attempted 1-13-12)

7. Go to Paris. It's literally a hop, skip and a jump from Italy. It's time.

8. Be that student. You know - THAT student. The one who cries over B's and stresses on a Saturday about a paper due in a month. For the first time ever my GPA matters to me... and it shows.

9. Start my book. I've been talking about writing one for so long. I'm not sure which book that will be exactly - relationship advice, online dating woes, college tip survival guide... or maybe the one about a career woman turned military wife, and her transition in a very new and very different culture.

10. Treat every moment with Tyler as though it is precious. (As realistically as I can.) Because it is. Not because he's so awesome or we're so in love I'm going to write ooey gooey things on my Bucket List, but because I truly never know when he will be (God forbid) deployed, even if for a month, or work 12 hour shifts, etc, etc, etc. Our time together is so limited and I feel as though too much of our time together this past year has been spent playing Words With Friends on our iPhones or me crying to him about missing my past life. This is my life now, WE are my life - and I want to embrace that in every way possible from here on out.

Lastly... Can you believe it is 2012? Seriously? I seriously still think 1995 was like 10 years ago and that Nick and Jessica are together. Aren't people supposed to be driving flying cars and green by 2012? So weird. But apparently it's all over in a few months anyway so luckily if I screw up these resolutions you won't have too long to hold them over my head. Enjoy your life while you can, suckers!